Peter Griffin Poems
by Miss Glitter Eyes
Summary: Yep, Peter has decided to begin writing poems O.O  Sorry if any of these poems offend anyone they're written from Peter Griffin's point of view lol please keep that in mind XD
1. Poem 1: Pants

Hello you wonderful people out there! I'm Peter Griffin and only complete idiots wouldn't know who I am so um well here is a poem I wrote for you guys. OK, here we go:

Pants

Pants are cool

They make me drool

Especially the kind that reveal ass

Oh no uh, look at the grass

Pants are happy

Pants are flappy

Pants are crazy

Pants are lazy

Pants are pants

Uh hope you guys liked it because I worked VERY hard on this. If you DID like it, leave a review letting me know and I'll write some more! Thanks, pilgrims.


	2. Poem 2: Hammers

Hey strangers! Glad you guys liked my poem, so I wrote another. Before I begin though, I want to have a little conversation with you. Just me and you. How was your day? Nice, nice alright we are going to begin:

Hammers

Hammers are great toys

For all girls and boys

Yes they make people cry

Some even die

But don't worry about death

Have more fun smoking meth

Just stab yourself with a knife

Who gives a shit about life?

None of us get out alive anyways!

I hope that was very inspiring. Leave me a review and I'll write some more. PLEASE! I-I'M IN DESPERATE NEED OF REVIEWS! I'LL EVEN SELL YOU STEWIE!


	3. Poem 3: Meg

Hey, guys. Some stranger wanted me to write a poem about Meg. This is for you, supersexyghotmew95!

Meg

Where the Hell do I begin?

Every time I see her I start to grin

She's just so pitiful, so ugly

Sorry, but it's fucking funny

I don't care what you people think

She may be my daughter, but she stinks

I even hate to admit I'm her dad

The thought of that makes me very sad

I hope everyone liked it, especially you, supersexyghotmew95! Sorry if it took me a while to write… I've just been lazy. Well, leave me a review giving me more topics to write about, thanks guys!


	4. Poem 4: Mondays

Hey, I see my last poem offended some of you guys so I'm sorry. You people know I really don't hate Meg, right? Well, she isn't my "favorite" or whatever but one of you requested a poem about her so I did as asked. Jeez, it was just a poem. Anyway, if you've been enjoying I appreciate that and I'll keep writing for you. I've been asked to write about Mondays and Stewie. The first one request was by supersexyghotmew95 which was Mondays so I'll do that one first.

Mondays

After a long relaxing weekend

Of hanging out and having fun with your friends

Monday pops up and ruins everything

You feel tired, stupid, and like killing yourself

OK, sorry that line didn't rhyme

I hope it isn't a huge crime

Poems just confuse my brain

I feel like strangling a crane

Maybe choking it with a stick

Oh my God, I got way off the topic

Mondays make me want to rip out my hair

Feed my whole family to some wild bears

Eat my own underwear

That one was long, haha. Hope you liked it, leave a review giving me more topics. Thanks, my beautiful potatoes.


	5. Poem 5: Stewie

Hey, I'm Peter in case you forgot! Heh, nah I doubt it since you love me so much! I'm writing another poem today requested by Ipod12 I hope you like it.

Stewie

He has little feet and little hands

Watch out or he'll choke on rubber bands

I believe I parent him well, as you can see

He's well behaved and definitely loves me

It's hilarious how he carries his bear around

I wonder how he'd react if a crushed it into the ground

He has affairs with chalk

There wasn't much I could think of to write about Stewie, he's just an average baby, right? Thank you and have a wonderful day, brusselsprouts!


	6. Not a poem Sorry

**Hi, guys! Miss Glitter Eyes here! Like my new pen name? Haha, I hope so. ;3 Anyway, I would like to apologize, okay? I haven't written a Peter poem lately, I got tired of writing. Now that I'm ready to write again, I don't feel like writing these poems! I'm super sorry, but I just guess it got old! D:**

**No worries, please. One day I'm sure I'll feel like being Peter and this'll be fun again! xD For now though, I'm starting a Tokyo Mew Mew fanfic. Maybe some of you TMM fans will look forward to that! Thanks! c;**

**Miss Glitter Eyes**


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